The Ingredients For Self-Development
Now is the time to reveal to you the meaning of life. Let me ask you: what do you think is the meaning of life and how to get there? What could be easier to answer than that, right? Let me claim this: the meaning of life is self-development and thus the unfoldment of your emotional and mental capabilities. Let me explain.
Our bodies, our biology developed through evolution and adaptation to the environment, and now the biological evolution crosses over into psychological evolution. Psychology is about our inner life, the emotional and mental content in our consciousness. To develop consciousness means to develop your emotions and thoughts. That sounds all nice and vague, but what does that mean specifically?
First, let’s break it down and see what it means to be a developed personality.
EXPERIENCE as requirement for self-development
As a developing person you need to gather experience. Children gather experience because they don’t know anything about life. They need to go through a variety of experiences, both good and bad, positive and negative, pleasing and painful, to test their limits and know what life is about. If you take those experiences away and let them grow in a comfort bubble, you take away from them the golden opportunity to learn how to deal with realities of life which includes frustration, crises, chaos, but also joy, pleasure, peace and order. You need all those things.
rise of CONSCIENCE
Next, the traces of your experience leave a mark on your consciousness, the memory develops which in turn gives rise to the so-called conscience. Conscience is your inner voice based on your previous experience which tells you what you should and should not do. When you’re faced with similar experiences as those from the past, the traces of memory will bring it back into your mind and you’ll be making decisions based on that memory.
Bad memories will make you hesitate and feel worried or repelled from a similar experience. Good memories will make you want the same experience over again. Human nature is work in progress when we are controlled by our desires, likes and dislikes.
I guess you might slowly realise that pleasant and unpleasant physical sensations give rise to emotions and feelings. Whatever is pleasing, the memory of it makes us want to grab and hold it - the feeling of desire arises. Whatever is painful or displeasing, the memory of it makes us want to move away from it, to avoid it. Thus, the feeling of sorrow, fear, worry and disgust arises.
It’s important to break away from this circle of desire and fear by cultivating noble feelings and developing your mentality or intellect.
gaining SELF-CONTROL
Whatever you crave or fear, it owns you. On a daily basis you’re a slave to your changeable feelings. However, you need to control how you feel, at least to a certain degree. Otherwise you’ll be just an unpredictable mess. You need to have your inner life in order. Only then you can be a real force of positivity in the world.
The key here is self-control through your thoughts, call it your mind, mentality or intellect - the source of your thoughts. Your thoughts can control how you’ll feel, at least to a certain degree. And they can definitely have an impact on your overall mood, regardless of your physical wellbeing. But that means you need to train your mind.
When you wake up early in the morning, think nice thoughts for the day. Every successful entrepreneur will tell you that: they go through a daily routine in the morning to set their mind into the right state so that they can stay motivated and active. Don’t let others control what you think. Think your own thoughts! That’s what personal creativity and mental freedom means. Think your own thoughts.
developing COMPASSION
Next step on the path of self-development is the cultivation of your emotions. The ultimate goal of emotional development is compassion. I use the word compassion as a metaphor for all the noble feelings you can imagine, for concepts such as love, joy, kindness, gratitude, generosity etc. These are all the feelings that come from a place of fullness and which are not based on your desires and fears. They are based on your refined nature. Everything that we value in life includes both the emotional aspect and the mental or intellectual aspect.
After you went through many life experiences and your mind started to develop, you need to work on the refinement of your emotionality, so that you become a good person. Compassion is a skill you learn. You can be as intelligent as hell, but if you’re selfish and self-centred, you’re just an unpleasant person to be around. Emotional refinement moves away from selfishness and towards compassion and selflessness. Please remember that.
self-development in a nutshell
So as you can tell, in the end it’s about mixing two components, emotions and thoughts, and taking them to the next level and making the best out of it. The goal of emotional development is compassion and selflessness, and the goal of mentality development is a strong mind that can think for itself and therefore recognise truth through right thinking.
Now we have it all together: the generic ingredients for an integrated personality with a strong will power, a personality which is relatively self-determined and free. Now it’s time for one last sweet reflection. Here’s the thing: all life is transient, and so are our desires and wishes. Whatever we crave changes on a daily basis like the weather or food we eat. What we mainly desire is pleasure. We crave for the transient, short-lived sensations. But watch out! If you aren’t careful enough, your craving can own you, it can control your will.
You don’t want to be a slave to your basic desires. Desire should be your servant. The point is to learn and exercise self-control. Self-control is true freedom. You can’t be free if you don’t control your impulses. If you don’t have any physical, emotional and mental control, the lack of restraint will own you and over time excess will make you feel drained and self-exploited.
However, if you control your daily cravings and exercise moderation, the little daily pleasures become a great and joyful experience, because they are not stained by excess. Bear in mind that this is of course not about pointless self-denial. It’s about the lofty ways of a wise life connoisseur. It sounds great, doesn't it?
I hope I provided some food for thought. Don't choke on it, just contemplate and the realisation will eventually come. See you in the next one.